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ONE OF THE HARDEST SITUATIONS A TEENAGER FACES F INDING A CLIQUE IS MOSTLY ABOUT FITTING IN, EVEN IF IT'S NOT WITH THE PEOPLE YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH. THE…
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ONE OF THE HARDEST SITUATIONS A TEENAGER FACES F INDING A CLIQUE IS MOSTLY ABOUT FITTING IN, EVEN IF IT'S NOT WITH THE PEOPLE YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH. THE MAIN POINT OF A CLIQUE IS POPULARITY AND FEELING LIKE YOU HAVE THE POWER OVER OTHERS. HAVE YOU EVER GIVEN A THOUGHT TO WHY PETER PAN WANTED TO STAY IN NEVERLAND AND NEVER GROW UP? IT'S BECAUSE BEING A TEENAGER IS NOT EASY. THERE ARE A LOT OF CHOICES TO MAKE, DECISION TO TAKE AND SITUATIONS TO SOLVE. THERE ARE IMPORTANT CHOICES THAT CAN DEFINE THE FUTURE OF A TEENAGER AND IS DIFFICULT FOR THEM TO MAKE THOSE CHOICES BECAUSE THEY ARE BEGINNING TO FIND THEMSELVES. STILL THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS THAT CAN MAKE THIS PROCESS EVEN MORE COMPLICATED THAN IT IS AND MIGHT AFFECT A TEENAGER CHARACTER AND FUTURE, FOR EXAMPLE: FINDING THEIR CLIQUE. FOR TEENAGERS, THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS ARE FRIENDS IN THE TOMAS MORO LOMAS COMMUNITY AND BEING PART OF A GROUP. ACCORDING TO MARCELINA  THE MAJORITY OF TEENAGER STUDENTS HARDY (2018) FINDING A CLIQUE IS ALL ABOUT FINDING THE ANSWERED ON THE SURVEY THAT THEY GROUP OF FRIENDS YOU WANT TO HANG OUT WITH OR EVEN DON'T SHARE THE SAME INTERESTS AS THE ONE OF THE POPULAR KIDS, BECAUSE FOR MOST THEIR GROUP OF FRIENDS AND HAVE FELT TEENAGERS IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO BE POPULAR. LEFT OUT AS A CONSEQUENCE.  THIS SHOULD NOT BE THE CASE; STUDENTS "FAKE IT´S THE SHOULD BE ABLE TO EXPRESS THEMSELVES WITHOUT BEING JUDGED BECAUSE IN THE LATEST TREND, AND END PRETENDING TO BE SOMEONE YOU ARE NOT IMPACTS YOUR LIFE IN NEGATIVE EVERYONE SEEMS TO WAYS, FOR EXAMPLE: LOW SELF-ESTEEM, BE IN STYLE." INSECURITY, NOT KNOWING WHO YOU REALLY ARE, ETC. ONE EXAMPLE OF THIS IS BEING NEW IN A SCHOOL. THIS IMPLIES AFTER WE INTERVIEWED FELLOW STUDENTS FINDING YOUR OWN CLIQUE BUT MOST OF THE TIMES THIS ONES WE REALIZED THAT THERE ARE A LOT OF ARE ALREADY “FULL” AND CLOSED TO ANYONE ELSE. TRUST US, TEENAGERS HAVING A HARD TIME WITH WE HAVE BEEN NEW KIDS AT A NEW SCHOOL. IT'S NOT EASY TO THEIR FRIENDS. 71.4% SAID THAT THEY FELT FIND A CLIQUE YOU BELONG TO AND WE WOULD HAVE WISHED LEFT OUT BY THEIR GROUP OF FRIENDS THE SOMEONE WOULD HAD OPENED THEIR DOORS FOR US BECAUSE GRAPH DROPPED TO 28.6% TO THE ONES BEING AN OUTSIDER SUCKS. THAT ANSWERED THAT THEY HAVE NEVER FELT LEFT OUT. ANOTHER EXAMPLE IS SOME PEOPLE MAY DEFINE CLIQUES AS GROUPS THAT ARE WHEN 78.6% OF THE INTERVIEWEES RESTRICTIVE AND WILL NOT LET OTHER PEOPLE BE PART OF ANSWERED THAT THEY HAVE DISAGREED THEIR FRIENDSHIP GROUP, AND BY DOING THIS SOMETIMES THIS WITH A CHOICE A FRIEND HAD MADE AND GROUPS HURT OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS. CLIQUES DON'T NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT IT, THE NECESSARILY HAVE TO SHARE THE SAME INTERESTS OR THE GRAPH PLUMMETED TO 22.4% TO THE SAME IDEAS, MOST OF THE TIMES TEENAGERS WANT TO BE PART OPPOSITE ANSWER. OF A CLIQUE JUST BECAUSE OF THE  SOCIAL POSITION THEY WANT TO BE IN ACCORDING TO MARIE HARTWELL (2018). SOME CLIQUES CAN HAVE A POSITIVE OUTCOME, BECAUSE IT'S NICE TO HAVE A GROUP OF FRIENDS WHERE YOU CAN BE YOURSELF, BUT MOST OF THE TIMES THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN SINCE THE MAJORITY OF TEENAGES HAVE THE NEED TO ACT A CERTAIN WAY  TO FIT IN AND BE POPULAR. IN THE LONG RUN THIS MAKES A TEENAGER FEEL LEFT OUT BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE THEY ARE NOT AND THEY DON'T HAVE A FRIEND AROUND WHERE THEY CAN BE THEMSELVES, AND THIS IT COULD AFFECT THEIR SELF-ESTEEM. ADOLESCENCE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PHASE OF THE LIFE OF A PERSON BECAUSE IS WHEN YOU GET THE CHANCE TO TRY ALL NEW THINGS SO YOU CAN KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU WANT AND GOING THROUGH THE NECESSITY OF FINDING YOUR CLIQUE IS ONE OF THE MANY THINGS THAT CAN MAKE A TEENAGER LEARN. PEOPLE SHOULD BE MORE CONSCIOUS ABOUT THE DIFFICULTIES OF FITTING IN DURING HIGH SCHOOL. NOBODY WANTS TO BE AN OUTSIDER AND EVERYONE WANTS TO HAVE SOMEONE WHO THEY CAN SHARE THEIR EXPERIENCES WITH. TEENAGERS SHOULD TRY TO BE MORE OPEN AND GET TO KNOW  FELLOW STUDENTS BECAUSE THEY NEVER KNOW HOW INTERESTING A PERSON CAN BE UNTIL THEY GET TO KNOW THEM AND WHAT THEIR LIFE HAS BEEN MISSING. PETER PAN WANTED TO STAY IN NEVERLAND TO AVOID REALITY, GROWING OLD AND NOT HAVING FUN. HE KNEW THAT NO PLACE ON EARTH COULD EVER COMPARE TO NEVERLAND BECAUSE IN NEVERLAND THERE ARE NO CLIQUES AND EVERYONE IS TRUE TO THEIR IDENTITY. "LOVE IS NOT PUTTING YOUR PARTNER'S SATISFACTION BEFORE YOUR OWN SAFETY -Exes by Mila Cuda & Jessica Romoff This is just not the case. This kind of opinions emerge from the unbelievable love stories that we see on tv that we look up as goals are many times toxic and broken duos. “I love you so much, it consumes me.”, “You’ll never marry anyone else. You’re mine.” And still there are teenage girls everywhere being fool thinking that this is love, and wanting, hoping for a relationship like the one Blair Waldorf and PHOTO BY MARTIN R. SMITH Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl had. MAR 2019 I ́M SO TIRED OF BEING ALONE Official Newsletter of the Tomas Moro Lomas Community You never know the harm you are doing to someone until that “someone” is yourself. BY NICOLAS PEDROZA & EDUARDO LEYCEGUI We all have felt alone day by day because of our thoughts, our body or even our interests, though there is something worse than feeling alone. This is being single out; because feeling alone doesn't necessarily mean that you are alone but being single out, does mean that you are transforming into a lonely person. The most concerning thing is that it all starts in high school if you are different, get into a fight or maybe you are not in the mood to talk, it can mark you for the rest of your life and most likely people will start pushing you away and as a consequence you will end up lonely because being pushed away from your social group and being in high school are two things that go side by side. Being single out creates a sign of discomfort in every people and this doesn't consequentialy mean it will stop as soon as you leave high school or as soon as you start having new friends because the reasons stay there and everyone has a different opinion to this kind of things. According to the survey made by Carl Sanders for stageoflife.com to teenagers in 2015, 95% of teens have felt single out at some point in their lives. After this, an investigation was done in the Tomas Moro Community were a survey was created and interpreted. The graph explains the reasons why someone has been single out. It peaked on the decision option and then it slightly decreased to the anything I have done option but it plunged in the colour of your skin option. TOMÁS MORO LOMAS Being left out is more common than you think due to Tomas Moro´s students anwers. They were asked if they have ever been left out in their lives, and the results were shocking. 70% of them have been left out of some that we are all alone sort of social group yet, they had felt alone day by day and did not tell anyone about it. is when we need "When we truly We also asked older people from the community such as the most" teachers or headmasters to participate in the survey the question determined if they ever felt alone or single out realize others in their time in high school and 55% answered that they did feel alone and concerned about being singled out of their social group. Taking into consideration the answers the survey got, a research was done on how many people would do anything to fit in a group and according to Rachel Pells an American psychologist at least 56% of teens would do something to return to their social group without thinking about it twice; yet in order to compare with the community, a survey was done based on this same question and the results plunged to 20% of teens who have done something just to fit in and it surprisingly peaked to 80% that answered that they would never do something they don't want just to fit in. TOMÁS MORO LOMAS “If you're lonely when Being singled out has many consequences and most of them can harm you and put your life in danger. One of them and the most important one is the anxiety it causes you're alone, you because it makes you overthink what is going to happen if all your friends leave you and if this were going to happen, it makes you think if someone would notice you're in bad your absence and all of this can lead to other consequences like self-harming or even suicide. Owing to that this is happening, highs schools have created places and spaces were you can talk about how you are feeling or even go to a psychologist hired by them to deal with this problem. Its is really important to company.” add that only 2.54% of students coursing high school make use of this resources given by the school to deal with their stress or anxiety created by this problem. However, 44.04% of teens appeal to online websites or even apps that might give them support instead of going with an adult or someone they trust because nowadays they rely way more on the internet than adults. Being singled out and being in high school are two things that go side by side because this place is where you make most of your friends and spend most of your time. It is crucial to say that it might be a hard phase in your life where you are vulnerable atribuible to being susceptible to do things you don't want to yet you think you have to because that will make you fit in or belong in a social group. it is important to add that people ́s judgements should not affect your person and that whoever you are is someone worth knowing and if you do not fit in a social group, you have to understand that there are plenty others were you can fit in. As Charlie the main character in “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” novel by Stephen Chosby said: “Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody.” TOMÁS MORO LOMAS REFERENCES "A good man, is a good JeffCollins,(2018).45%ofTeensSayThey’reStressed“AlltheTime,"Turnto OnlineResourcesandAppsforHelpSaysPollonStressandMentalHealth, (22/11/2018)retrievedfrom:https://globenewswire.com/news- man, release/2018/02/21/1372739/0/en/45-of-Teens-Say-They-re-Stressed- whether in this church All-the-Time-Turn-to-Online-Resources-and-Apps-for-Help-Says- Poll-on-Stress-and-Mental-Health.html or out of it." StageOfLife,(2012).StatisticsaboutTeenagersandHighSchoolStudents, (27/11/2018),   retrievedfrom: BRIGHAM YOUNG https://www.stageoflife.com/StageHighSchool/OtherResources/Statistics on High School Students and Teenagers.aspx TOMÁS MORO LOMAS "You are what you post..." Susana Ruiz and Casandra Velasco Nowadays thousands of teens live But what they don't really know is that this It has come to the point in which it's really under this idea, and they even do the constantly exposes them to comparison, hard to distinguish what's from real life or impossible to reach virtual life’s criticism and self evaluation, which has a what is only from social media, or better standards. Social media has become significant impact on their self esteem. said, our “virtual life”. In our virtual life, we a part of our day to day, where teens To begin with, social networks allow teens share our experiences and beliefs, find a safe place. They think that to create virtual profiles where they can modified to fulfill society’s expectations. 70% of teens because they are hiding behind a share information, post pictures, So clearly we are trying to show that our feel they're screen, they can pretend to be “comment on others’ lives, express life is a lot more glamorous than it really "NOT GOOD whoever they want to. whoever they beliefs, preferences and emotions as well is. Not only we are posting things that are want to. That’s why, they spend over ENOUGH" as fulfill belongingness needs” (Ivcevic & not completely true, but we are also 3 hours per day scrolling through their Ambady, 2012). avoiding the negative aspects. social media feed. To prove this, we interviewed Tomas Moro "The more social students and the numbers shot up when 79% of the students said that they had never media we have, the posted a negative aspect of their life on social more we think we're media because they were afraid of being connecting, yet we are judged or criticized. Also, the number surged really disconnecting when teens affirmed that no one wanted to give the “wrong impression” by uploading or from each other" sharing something which is socially incorrect. In the other hand, society has created impossible standards about beauty and This also has an important impact on success. This is something that teenagers their self esteem. When they visit are trying to reach, but the truth is that no one social networks such as Instagram can reach this standards because perfection and Facebook, they feel the need of doesn't exist. We create idealized profiles changing something about where we have the option to select the themselves. For example, based on content we want to make public. a survey we applied in Tomas Moro Most of the times, we only show the best and more enviable moments and aspects of our lives while avoiding the school, the number of teens who struggles and sufferings of ordinary life to make everyone believe that “we have it together”. We post fake and have felt the need to change edited photos where we pretend that our lives are more glamorous than they really are which is a clear sign of something about themselves after self unconformity.This is the risk of social media, as Mariana Mosti, who was our former teacher, said, she using social media, rocketed thought no post was real because you are always modifying it with filters or with the things you have around you. reaching more than half of the The worst part of it, is that teens know that all this posts aren't’ completely real, but still, they let them hurt their interviewees. his is due to the fact self esteem and they even support and validate them by “liking it “ or “sharing it”. Nonetheless, every day boys that over 8 out of 10 teenagers and girls seek likes and followers due to the fact that in the present, popularity is measured and defined by the compare their profiles with the ones numbers on social media. This can cause anxiety on teenagers due to the fact that teens fight every day for the of their “friends” over 3 times per unreachable standards of society. week. Also, teens judge their pairs personality based on The problem is that people feel the need of fitting in what they post or share on different social networks. because when they see their friend’s “perfect” post, ot This can lead them to conflict due to the fact that we their sister's “perfect” publication, they feel left out which Low never know the context in which people do things leads them to depression, anxiety and frustration to fulfill SELF-ESTEEM and we don't have a complete panorama of the the standards and keep up in the race we are exposed consequences situation. For example, Pato told us that he has every day.That’s why nowadays 4 out of 10 adolescents - INSECURITY misunderstand comments or reactions on social suffer from anxiety and depression, according to the - DEPRESSION media without having a complete view of the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA, - ANXIETY situation. With this we prove that that the misuse of 2018). This means that in the last 8 years the rates have - SUICIDAL THOUGHTS increased 35%. But the question is, how are we - ESTAING social media can have a negative impact on teens, DISORDERS their relationships, and their self esteem. supposed to accept less than “perfect” and know who we really are if we practice being false on our profiles a big part of our day and spend a huge portion of our energy on it? We have reached the point in which we try so hard to show everyone the positive aspects of our lives, that at the end, we actually forget who we really are. But why is it that teenagers focus so much on other people's profiles?, why do we waste our energy and time copying others and pretending to be someone we aren’t? Let’s stop and think for a moment if this is actually what we want for us and for other adolescents. This is causing many psychological problems and mental disorders leaving us with no option but to change our perspective about ourselves. It all has come to the point where we actually stop valuing real life interactions and just focus on what we see on social media. The next time you´re going to post something on a social network please stop and think if you are doing it because you want to or because you are trying to reach a standard.
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